Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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