Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Fuck appropriateness.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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