I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
