I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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