Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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