careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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