Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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