Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
