paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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