Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
