what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
