the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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