It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
