I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
