Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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