and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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