then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
