they need to just BURY HIM!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Floor bacon is actually really good
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
