She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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