i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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