it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
