We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I looked at my own cervix.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
