No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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