I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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