You're so nebulous sometimes
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Randomize
