shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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