I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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