? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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