Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
