for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
