I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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