Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it's like heaven, but drunker
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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