i jhust puked up my retainher.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize