Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
