I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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