I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
time to smoke my breakfast
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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