I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize