Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
