Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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