So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She told me I should be a condom model.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
