so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he was CRYING into my vagina
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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