It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
