We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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