i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
