he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
