found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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