I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
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