Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
