Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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