I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
