he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
