Sponge bath it is.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
