oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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