We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
