Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
