Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
