Hey man sorry I got all grabby
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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