let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
