We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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