Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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