Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
