ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
