If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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