At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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