walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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