I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
