I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
