Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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