I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize