i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
And the cops told us we were all naked.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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