your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
