If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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