Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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