I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
