1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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