Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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