I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
