I only kidnapped one of them. chill
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
