In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
