I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
