Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
bring money and cleavage
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
