Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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