I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
