Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
