I just made out with a guy for $7.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
