someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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